- Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following
four options:
* Press 1 for requests.
- * Press 2 for thanksgiving.
- * Press 3 for complaints.
- * For all other inquiries, Press 4."
- What if God used the familiar excuse:
- "All of the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the
line. Your call will be answered in the order it was received."
- Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call on God in
prayer?
- * "If you'd like to speak with Gabriel, press 1.
- * For Michael, press 2.
- * For any other angel, press 3."
* "If you want King David to sing you a psalm, press 6."
"For reservations at My Father's House, simply press the letters J-O-H-N on
the keypad, followed by the number 3-1-6."
"For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and
where Noah's ark is, wait until you get here!"
- "Our computers show that you have called once today already. Please hang up
- immediately."
- "This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again Monday."
- End of message.
- Thank God, you can't call Him too often!!! You only need to ring once and
God hears you. Because of Jesus, you never get a busy signal. God takes each
call and knows each caller personally. When you call and the Lord will
answer; you will cry for help and He will say: "Here am I."
- And when you call: Emergency Phone Numbers
- * When in sorrow, call John 14
- * When men fail you, call Psalm 27
- * If you want to be fruitful, call John 15
- * When you have sinned, call Psalm 51
- * When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34
- * When you are in danger, call Psalm 91
- * When God seems far away, call Psalm 139
- * When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11
- * When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23
- * When you grow bitter and critical, call 1 Cor. 13
- * For Paul's secret to happiness, call Col. 3:12-17
- * For idea of Christianity, call 1 Cor. 5:15-19
- * When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:31-39
- * When you want peace and rest, call Matt. 11:25-30
- * When the world seems bigger than God, call Psalm 90
- * When you want Christian assurance, call Romans 8:1-30
- * When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121
- * When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67
- * For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55
- * When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1
- * How to get along with fellowmen, call Romans 12
- * When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10
- * If you are depressed, call Psalm 27
* If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37
- * If you're losing confidence in people, call 1 Cor. 13
- * If people seem unkind, call John 15
- * If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126
* If you find the world growing small, and yourself great, call Psalm 19
- Emergency numbers may be dialed direct. No operator assistance is necessary.
- All lines are open to Heaven 24 hours a day!
- The best form of spiritual exercise is to touch the floor regularly with
- your knees.
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